Daily repentance is not because God needs an apology. No, He is not vain or puffed up. He, came down as Jesus, to my level, made himself less, to save me, to show me how much He truly loves me. His love requires no apology to make Him any more right, any more holy, or anymore big. His love covers a multitude of wrongs.
1 Peter 4:8 NKJV — And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
Daily repentance is required not for Him, but for me.
The enemy is less likely to beat me up, than he is to puff me up. If he were to beat me up, he knows, I’m way more likely to go to my Father in heaven when I’m down.
But now, if he can puff me up, making sure I feel good about who I am and confident that I am on the right track, I’m less likely to ask my Father in heaven for help. Why ask for what I don’t need? Right?
Oh so patiently the enemy waits, lurking in the shadow’s. Watching, waiting for that right moment, that precise moment he believes to be most impactful, detrimental, and sure to shatter both my heart and soul.
The enemy showing no semblance of mercy, goes to work setting the stage…
Everything is going so good. My heart is filling up as people are noticing Jesus living in and working through me. Even those that persecuted and hated on me are confronted with how much Jesus shown in my life. There’s no doubt lives are touched even changed. There might be a few things come up that question the validity of my walk and my heart, but I’m not perfect yet, I reason. I’m still growing and learning, God’s not finished with me yet. I can’t be Jesus, no one can, but I can be His vessel.
2 Corinthians 4:7 KJV — But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
Life is moving in the right direction finally, and even though there are ups and downs, I’m not crushed or alone anymore. I’m feeling purpose, like maybe I do matter after all, maybe I have something to contribute in this world.
Stage is set, just one more final touch.
Life gets busy, so busy helping others, being there for others, ministering to others, I have less time to spend in Father God’s presence. I’ll pray throughout the day, read devotionals, talk and fellowship with like minded believers, I’ll think on a verse or two while I’m going from one place to another, yet, time on my knees, crying out to Him, in surrender, with my ego, pride, and heart laying in pieces before Him, has depleted to basically never.
And then, the fall…
Now the enemy makes his move, his kill shot, final blow. He knew this whole time what would irritate me. He knew this whole time what would bring out the ugly still hiding within me. He watched and waited, holding back, until now. Then all at once Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Daily repentance is not about God wanting an apology. It’s to keep me in a place of true humility and therefore protect me from the enemy setting the stage for my fall. It’s also to keep my perspective about others, even those who prove to be my enemies, in check with the Truth only He knows. My only hope against the deception and dividing tactics of the enemy being able to use me, is knowing and understanding that no matter what I think I know, God and God alone knows the truth. I must trust Him and follow His directions for my own safety and wellbeing.
Therefore, I must repent with truth in my heart. Not from a place of fear and a mindset of not having a choice. No, be truly sorry for falling short, not wanting to disappoint God. Not wanting to hurt God. If my heart is not sorry because I live in a world that sees what I’ve done as normal, no big deal, or just expressing myself, then my heart is not truly repentant and I won’t change those ways in me. Before going before the Lord to repent, first I must go before Him and ask for Him to “right” my heart. I need to ask Him to open my eyes, my mind, and my heart to His ways. Then ask for Him to speak His Truth, the only Truth into my rebellious heart, so I may see. Also ask Him to show me His love, grace and mercy, so I can fall in love with Him and insomuch truly desire to want to please Him.
Sometimes a person isn’t sorry about certain sins because their lives have been lived in a fallen, rebellious, broken world and it’s hard to think of a normal, no big deal, thought or action as a sin. Other times the difficulty in seeing the truth about sin is in the fact our flesh enjoys the very thing being called sin. We really don’t want to let it go. We can’t see life without it. And still another reason can be because we have come to believe it’s who we are and being sorry for it means we are ashamed of who we are and of our true self. All these are strongholds.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 NKJV — For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.
The truth is, simple, it’s Jesus.
John 14:6 NKJV — Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
No matter the stronghold that may be blinding me, the Truth, aka reality is, Jesus.
First I need to come into agreement with Jesus, The Truth. Then because I know and agree with Him, I ask Him to change my heart to reflect His. Finally, I make a daily habit of coming before Him, asking Him if there is any offensive ways still in me, while repenting for those offenses I already know I’ve committed.
I do this not for God’s benefit, but for my own.
Until next time, may God bless you and keep you, as you seek Him, with your whole heart.